Anonymous said: has anyone ever refused to bottom for you, due to your dick size?
Okay, so, there are two types of penis: the boyfriend penis and the hookup penis. The boyfriend penis is a normal, everyday penis that you are happy to come home to, stick in any time, is the right size to feel good without giving you a prolapse, and generally get consistent excellent lovin’ from in all the right spots.
I do not have a boyfriend penis. Mine is nice to look at, nice to play with occasionally, and nice to touch, but to have sex with? With the normal boy down the street who you’ve had a crush on since last November and who is not a secret power bottom? That results in you only topping twice a year when you’re in a relationship?
Big dicks suck. Never get one. Bum deal.
SHOW THAT BITCH WHO RUNS THIS HOUSE
More GIFs you and your friend can relate to here!
These kids though
[Gays] want to abolish age of consent laws, which means we will do away with statutory rape laws so that adults would be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.– Michele Bachmann, who may or may not run for president again in 2016, on the *homosexual agenda.* This woman was elected to public office. Let’s think about that for a second. (via the Advocate) (via gaywrites)
when he cums inside u
I am so glad I pressed play
I am so happy I did press that button
Client: Do you do lemonade?
Me: Do we do… lemonade?
Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.
Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.
Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot.
Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -
Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!
Me: Do you mean… laminate?